They say to write what you know. So here goes.  It was July 2017. I was in the coffee house that hosted the church I attended at the time. " i KNOW what you have!" A friend of mine at the time exclaimed. " ASPERGERS! you have aspergers. I had a friend in highschool who had it and she was just like YOU!  Ok.....
A few spoiler alerts. Aspergers is no longer a classification of autism its all ASD autism spectrum disorder. Your friend didn't HAVE autism she HAS it because you're born with it....its a neurological disorder its not acne. Lastly I later discovered that my antisocial tendencies at the time were related to a season of great difficulty paired with mild social anxiety.
I am telling this story not to accuse anyone of anything because I was the biggest fool in the story believing what someone said about me not because of their extensive knowledge on the subject of autism but because at the time my self esteem was so low that if anyone said anything about me I believed them.
This evening began my very long quest of self-esteem discovery paired with learning a great deal about the autism spectrum.  After our conversation that night I ABSOLUTELY believer that I had autism. There was no doubt in my mind and I told a LOT of people. I was never diagnosed by a professional but at the time it made sense though the only " symptom" I had was the desire to be antisocial. And even if I desired to socialize I struggled to do so and realized later it was a lack of confidence paired with other things.
Research. I began to do research. Everything from reading blogs by parents with kids with autism blogs by adults who discovered that they had autism as adults signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder videos about young girls on there spectrum( oddly a lot of these took place in England!). I'm talking I read every article from the Mayo clinic to blogs written by teenagers with autism. Facebook forums. You have no idea how many there are.
For a good year I identified as on the spectrum. The friend who very unofficially diagnosed meet and I had countless discussions on my condition. If this person was a physician or psychiatrist these would have been very fruitful discussions but it wasn't the case so our conversations made no sense. " Jamie is an awesome person but she is just autistic so she doesn't communicate well" that statement was hilarious because I worked with this person and of course I communicate well. We taught toddlers together.
The more research I did the more doubtful I began to feel about my conclusion. My life was tospy turvy and my coping mechanism was to withdrawal a bit but is that really a sign of autism?
Childhood. I'm not going to give a complete overview of my childhood
 But there are a few red flags that I pinpointed that made the autism conclusion seem not as strong. I hope whoever reads this has SOME sort of knowledge of the autistic child but if not here are a few very common characteristics.
One very specific area of interest.
Repetitive behavior.
This is a big one
 Plays with toys differently. Ie instead of a child feeding and rocking a doll they use dolls head to bang!
Lack of desire to socialize.
When I was 2 years old I took a trip to Nashville with my parents. My mom told me I befriended the cleaning lady!
When I was 6 or 7 my neighbor was hospitalized. I made her a get well card.
My sister and I had singing contests dancing contest gymnastics contests. Our dolls had extensive soap opera inspired lives 😆 my ability to tell stories was and is absolutely through the roof. I was told by my 5th grade teacher that I had a " vivid imagination". The list goes on.
I'm not perfect and have my issues but I don't think autism is on the list unless I really misunderstand the whole concept of what it is.
Believe in yourself not the words of others.  I studied this disorder so much and so long that it stole my joy.  However as some things in my life began to change the symptoms that lead me to suspect autism also disappeared.  The majority of people on the autism spectrum seem to have one area of interest that they are hyperfocused on. Like a country for example or cars or elephants etc....im sort of Renaissance. I have many different interests. I enjoy writing but I also love music nature art animals social issues etc.
I discovered as a child I had mild sensory issues. But When you are born in the 80s nobody did anything about it and told me to suck it up. So I sucked and at age 39 I'm basically over them and if I'm bothered by I it figure that too will pass. Btw I have sensory seeking and sensory avoidance I will explain some time if anyone's interested. 
I'm a quiet person. O love to talk but I'm not just going to talk to everybody all the time. If that looks like I'm autistic, whatever. People who know me know me and would probably laugh if they knew of my conclusion a few years ago.
I am who I am. I enjoy who I am. If someone wants a more outgoing friend thats awesome and I hope they find it. Meanwhile I'm me and thats all I know how to be.