Rose

My chains of adversity

Were a catalyst for me

I rose

Nothings else could hold me down

Feet planted on the solid ground

I rose.

The agenda to my demise

Have caused me not to shrink but rise

I've taken myself by surprise

For, I rose.

When sinking sand was all around

In temporary despair I've found

Inside of me is solid ground

I rose.

I'm resilient though I'm not perfect

I know that every trial is worth it

There are time's when I've faced loss

Every lesson has a cost

Faced with fear at times, I've froze

Yet after awhile

I always rose

Rose because I am a story

Risen for a greater glory

Shining is not mandatory

Yet its a choice, I chose.

Life has shoved, has pushed me down

Storms whip the strongest rocks around

I may fall but this I know

After facing it all

I rose.

Titles

Once at camp when I was about 10 our cabin had an unofficial award ceremony. I remember receiving the Quiet award.  Truthfully plenty of people have probably given me the" quiet award" throughout my life not just a group of 10 years olds. It's easy to give someone the quiet award or the loud award or even the obnoxious award. The petty award the Passive aggressive award the rude award. Or even the pretty award. It's very easy to label people.  Its easiest to look at a person make a quick inference and roll with it not attempting to get to know them further.
I'm definitely good at doing that. With a lot of people. Only the people whom I know very well do I know beyond some manmade award.
Yea I've been quiet before.  I've also been loud. Silly. Obnoxious. Petty. Argumentative. Last night I laughed til I couldn't breathe about a silly picture on Facebook.
If I were less quiet my imagination might be less powerful and I'm not sure I'd want to trade that. 
So you can give people labels and titles and make assumptions but unless you know the person inside and out it's most likely not accurate. 
You're not the quiet one. Or the loud one. Or the brave one. The smart one or the stupid one. You're you. A multifaceted individual with a million different habits quirks and feelings. You own who you're are, no one else.

Revelation ( Esthers lesson)

How can you prepare
What do you do?
When the person you know
Doesn't know you?
You have to hide
Where you are from
Because if you don't
Calamity may come.
You never know
How far over the edge
The pot of water
will spill off the ledge.
Will he take kindly
Or will he explode
If I perish I perish
And at least now I'll know.
I guess I could risk it
Because either way
Tomorrow could be
My last judgement day.
Fasting and praying
Preparing my will
For this information
I'm having to spill
There might come a time
When you have no choice
But to answer yes
In a confident voice
No I'm not like you
I'm different you'll see
That we are all the same
If you truly love me
Revelation is scary
For the revealer
The truth is a relief
and finally, a healer
The truth saved the day
The enemy died
And my biggest secret
Is no longer inside.

Get to know the writer! 20 random things about me!!


1 I have fat fingers and don't type well on keyboards
2My favorite color is teal
3I love owls
3Getting a dog is on my bucket list and as much as I like owls getting an owl is not lol
4 I want to live in Israel for at least a year
5 I'm borderline ambidextrous
6 I really like the Spin doctors. Talkin bout my generation here
7 I am Jewish though I want to assume most people already know this
8 My paternal grandma was a twin
9 I'm deaf. Not literally and I would probably pass a clinical hearing test but in noisy places I can't hear diddly shit. This is why I hate clubs. I actually think they are fun. I just can't carry on a conversation in one.
10 I really love the movie Frozen
11. I'm a closet country music fan and now I'm out of the closet 😅
12. Carney Wilson is my spirit animal
13. So are cats
14. So are unicorns
15. I love anything rainbow including LGBT etc 🌈
16. I love the 80s which probably explains number 15
17. Lisa Frank is my other spirit animal
18. I have a lot of spirit animals and I hope I'm someone's someday or when I die I hope I'm someone's muse
19. I have lofty posthumous goals
20. I make amazing chili.  😋

I hate the way you laughed at me
And told me I was wrong
I hate your smug and glib response
That you were right all along
I hate the condescending way
That you pretend to care
And the self righteous way
That you override my fears.
I hate the lessons that you taught
That mixed up my mind
And the way your lessons
Were anything but unkind.
I hate the way you lift me up
And teach me how to fly
The buoyancy that you create
When I am sky high.
I hate your stupid advice
When I'm falling apart
And the really crappy way
That you clean up my heart
I hate the way you catch me
Every time I fall
I hate that I don't hate you
I don't hate you at all.

Just what I needed

I never thought I'd know you
I never thought I'd understand
Exactly just what love was
When you took hold of my hand
I never thought I'd love you
More than my own life
God knew just what I needed
And now I know why.
I was swimming in my reason
In love with what I knew
Never aware of something missing
Something beautiful and true
The joy to be your mother
Has made my heart grow twice its size
I finally understand what love is
When I look into your eyes.
Of all that I have learned in life
And all that i have seen
Knowing you is the greatest
It is my everything.

Time

Trees tell the time
Lush or bare
Their face is a watch
Displaying the season.
Years swallow dreams like a vortex
A toilet bowl of intention!
Years are greedy
Screaming WINTER SPRING SUMMER FALL!
to our lives
The winds of change pushing. Pulling. Pushing us forward towards our ambition
Time is hungry
He seldom crawls towards his prey
Years swallow dreams
You have to weave the tapestry of intention
Into its belly
A flow chart of resistance
January fades to February
Which fades to December
Time is hungry
Ambition its prey
Unassumingly grazing on time
Ironically.
We flood our eyes with Netflix
Grocery store trips
Idle moments of being
We work. Work. Work.
" tomorrow" is our favorite word
We can tell time WAIT
he waits for no one
Jump on this merry go round
Of a restless predator
Shoved the word quality in his face
The only remedy for his hunger
The only way he won't eat you alive.