The marble is there

In the center

It is embedded

The clay has hardened

The kiln has done it's job

The shape is finalized

The marble is still there

Hard and round

It is silent

Words trigger it

Words like" trouble" and "punish"

Those words twist it

 within the globe shaped

Formation.

The marble is stuck.

It activates

As the round clay form travels

Around the sun.

There was a time

When the clay was still soft

That fingers could have gently

Reached inside

To remove the marble

But now the oven

Has baked the clay

And that can no longer happen.

So the marble exists there.

Sometimes it can be forgotten.

Until words penetrate the clay

And the marble is felt

 it does it's job

The only job it knows.

It trembles.

The whole globe of clay trembles also.

And that is the womb in which fear is formed

That is the channel where fear is born.

An open letter to the LBGTQA community

 I am not LGBTQA.  I have never experienced what those who are have experienced. I've never been condemned in public or private for my sexual preferences or my desire to either change genders or to not identify as either. I have never been called the names that people choose to call people with a different sexual preference than their own.  I have never been mocked beaten or bullied due to the aforementioned descriptions. I have been fortunate.

 I have been marginalized. I have been made to appear lesser due to things about me that I have absolutely no control over. I have been bullied mocked and threatened. I have been excluded. I understand being different. I understand fighting to be understood. I understand the demoralizing way people often treat one another for one reason or another. 

All I can say is this. And I can include myself in this apology. I am SO SORRY if you have ever been made to feel like you don't belong. I am so sorry that a religious group may have excluded you based on your lifestyle or anything else that they may not aprove of.  I am so sorry if you have ever been discriminated against based on things about you that deserve to be celebrated and not condemned.

I have a request for those who are not part of the LGBTQA community and even those who are. Dare to be kinder. Challenge yourself to not judge people you don't know or even those you do. Celebrate the uniqueness in others. Strive to understand a person by listening to their story and where they are coming from. We are all coming from somewhere and we are all going somewhere. On that journey let's encourage one another and get to know one another.

Love is love and when we allow it to prevail amazing things will happen 🌈

 My muse is not a butterfly

But she is sustained by gossamer wings

My muse is not a lullaby 

But to my soul she often sings

My muse is not a work of art

Though deep within my art is created

My muse is not a beating heart

Though my heart and hers connected

She is the whisper in dead still silence

She is the questions no one can answer

When the world is shrouded in darkness

She is the light bright shiny dancer

My muse is not a superhero

She is so much more

When I am drowning in the truth

Her fantasies are the surest shore.

The world is winding crushing blinding

She is the toadstool that shades my eyes

She is the birth, the burst of revelation

That pushes through as angels cry

My muse is not a butterfly

Though she soars on gossamer wings

My muse awakens where souls align

To brighter lighter mightier things.

Nowhere to turn

There's a fire

It's my fire

The whole wide world's

 going to watch me burn.

I wanna be caught

Wanna be taught

This novelty cannot be bought

So I steel

And run away

Hoping someone will catch me

Because that captivity means

Arms around me

My soul won't feel a thing

Til someone's found me

I play hide and seek with the world

I'm a mystery I'm that kind of girl

We all are in some way

All longing for the day

When we're held just right

Not like porcelain

Not too tight

The earth is not a mother

But her children are my brothers

We need one another

I'm a fugitive

Running from someone else's mistakes

I'm a nomad

Wandering in rubbish

I did not create

I am a product

Of a series of unjust fates

I'm a warrior

It's not a choice I made

If you find me

Do not return to sender

Keep me with you

It can't get worse

So you must be better.

 I can't undo your tangles

I can't undo your tangles

I truly wish i could

I wish I could fix this

Because you know I would

I cannot undo tangles

The once I didn't tie

What I have to offer

Is simply standing by.

I can be a presence

Catch the tears that fall

I can be the one

Who answers when you call

I am not a healer

Though healing is the goal

I simply am two arms to wrap

Around your heart and soul

It is not for you to decide

How others respond to your pain

Everybody gives comfort

In their own way

Most people aren't problem solvers

As much as they'd like to be

I cannot solve your problems

But you can always count on me

The tangles will unfurl

In their own time and way

But would you allow me

To sit with you today?

 You are worth celebrating

Just because you're alive

You don't need a bag of tricks

Or to work from 9-5

You are a miracle

Without even trying

If someone tells you otherwise

They are definitely lying.

You don't need credentials

To matter on this earth

You need breath in your lungs

And a day of birth

Society is backwards

 it's measurements are wrong

Nobody has to prove a thing

Nor do they have to be" strong"

"The weak will be the strongest"

That isn't even true

Because it's not a contest

You matter cause you're you.

There is no race in life

Cept for the illusion

That we are in a race

We're not, sorry for any confusion.

We are human beings

And beings are just so

If you learn nothing else in life

You has value

This I know.

 Hope emerges

After tear drops

Shed like rainfall

It's always the darkest

Before dawn

Nature's strategy

To awaken hope

In souls that have lied dormant

Awaiting the light

Forgetting all along

That the light is within.

Nonstalgia

 Road tripping

BBQ on my mind

History is cruel

But memorize are so so kind

Building bridges

Some that burn

Others took

A more benevolent turn

Life has potholes

I'll never forget that message

Watch out for them

It's not a warning but a sentiment

Sometimes memories

Swim thru my brain

Kindly

Making me wish I was back there again

The lessons i learned then

Bouy me up

Today

I'm wiser looking back

And I like it that way.

 Blessed backwards

We're all blessed backwards

You and me

We all have blessings

We cannot see

Life trips you up

Until you are blind

Blessings are not always

Easy to find

When the world

Presents as unkind

Blessed looks like

Being on top

Until the illusion of grandeur 

Comes to a stop

Your will is disarmed

As your choices are few

And blessings become

Something totally new

Too blind to see

All that was before

We're blessed in a way

That is actually more

Blessed backwards is seeing

The way that we were

As an innuendo

To what we have here

Letting go is a blessing

A painful release

As we grasp at the things

That will set us free.

 It's a beautiful fight

Life can unravel

But that's still alright

It reveals our strength

It's a beautiful fight

Time twists and turns

Til we're dizzy and lost

At the end we wonder

If it was worth what it cost

Enemies prevail

Even under the light

Still we remain

Its a beautiful fight

The mirror is often

The audience of one

Cannot compete 

with ourselves when it's done

Life's perpetual race

Has us tied up in knots

Til her deep pearls of meaning

Are all but forgot

You just lost your way

Its still alright

Life is fragile

And it's a beautiful fight

Fear grips us to death

Til we call out to faith

We find her within

And she saves the say

When answers are many

But comfort is scarce

The whole wide world

Seems up in the air

Never forget how daytime

Is born from the night

Once again you will rise

Its a beautiful fight.

 What fists are for( not violence)

It's an odd question

But fists are for STOPPING words used against you

Null and void

Cold words freeze hearts

Love unthaws them

Frozen references

Frozen refers to yesterday

I was ice queen

Now I'm warmed

What are fists for?

Stopping ugly spells

Unfolding and enveloping

Arms together

Five fingers

United against you

Spewed venom words

Feet crush snake heads

Fists stop ugly sinister lies

Stop right there because

I have an alibi

I don't need to give you an explaination

Owe you nothing

No cross examining

The witness pleads the 5th

Fists are for raising

Victoriously

Laboriously

Lies spill out like slippery oily words

Lying is easy

Lying down

Fists pull me up

Off of sinking counterfeit ground

Fist clench

Refuse to be drug around

What are fists for?

Stopping stupid

Insignificant

Slander

Claim victory

Happily ever after.

 An ode to autumn

Leaves tumble like an acrobat

Upside down they wave

Understanding only

The art of letting go

Crimson foliage decorates

The earthy grassy green

As the air grows cooler now

The sun begins to wane.

Aqua skies give way to grey

Then aqua once again

Insects burrow beneath the earth

its shelter and its friend

Life packs up for seasons change

As frost practices presence

Howling winds interrupt the sky

Announcing her frosty essence

Leaves still dance and barren now

Are the wistful trees

Stripped of the beauty of yesterday

Trembling with each breeze

 What I've done wrong

I'm not self depreciating

Nor am I hating

Because all that I've done wrong

Has gone and made me strong.

What I've done wrong is guess

That I'm something less than blessed

Something less than someone

Life's something less than feeling the sun

What I've done wrong is lie

To myself and look around

As opposed to recognizing

That I'm not lost or found.

What I've done wrong is dwell

On the wrong things I have done

Instead of admitting not perfect

But I'm an amazing someone.

What I've done wrong is been

Afraid of happiness and success

So afraid to strive for

What I know is my best

Poems are always honest

The souls anatomy

There's much more within

Than I'd admit there to be.

You aint takin my crown

 I've heard your tainted whispers

Seen you lurking around

Heard your pathetic false accusations

But you ain't takin my crown 👑

I ain't gonna be the reason

That you shake your head

Your opinion is target practice

My arrows will shoot it dead.

Do not say a prayer for me

That I will find my way

I ain't lost, at any cost

On any given day.

I know exactly who I am

I don't need your definition

I'm no longer going to be

Your gossips ammunition.

You can whisper all your lies

With a disapproving frown

I'm not sure who you think you are

But you ain't getting far

And you're not stealing my crown.

You look upon my essence

With pity and remorse

I see myself in shades of gold

And consider myself a force.

I'm not sure of YOUR perception

But I will make this clearer

Because I see a goddess

When I look into the mirror

Who I am is worthy

Of value, not turn down

You can say what you want to say

But you AIN'T stealing my crown 👑.

.

 B

 If you know

That you are worthy

And stronger than the world deems you

That changes everything

The fuel to the invisible fire

Burning within

So you can laugh dream whatever you choose

With abandon

 Queen of your own world

In charge of your desires

And their destination.

Because you know who you are

Fear takes a backseat and you drive

Unafraid to the next destination

Whatever that may be

Never completely put in park because you know

Plans change

Winds rearrange

Life.

Because you know

Your place in the world

And wear the invisible crown

Given to you at birth

Simple because you are

And always will be

A force in this world

If you choose

You are a 

Healer

Wanderer

Lover

Dreamer

An instrument of grace

In a world in deep need of it.

 Suck it up you don't need a straw

Suck it up

Let me tell you right now

You'll suck at life

If you don't learn how

The world you chew you

And spit you out

Turn your confidence inside out

Don't think you're immune

Cause baby you're not

I'll tell you right now

Folks can suck- a lot

If you don't weed out the insults

The haters and such

You're whole life will suck

Quite a bit much

It's not easy to let things

Roll off of your back

If you don't you will fall

And crumble- like that

Haters will be haters

Always around

Baby, ignore them

And straighten your crown. 👑

You're too good for that bullshit

Too strong to go down.

 Swaying grass is dancing

On fields of sodden earth

Floral blooms romancing

Blown in the windswept skies

Cicadas frantically humming

Wings beating like a drum

Gentle showers falling

Among the thirsty lawns.

Sleepy ardent beauty

Caressed by lazy days

Mother nature lulling

The summer months away.

Icy Navigation

Huddled, the millions
Individuals longing
Lives flashing
Drowning
Luxury waining
As fear crescendos
Some jump out the doorway
Others out the windows
Boats violently rocking
Coats dangerously soaked
Merely moments ago
Bodies beautifully cloaked
Death is never a stranger
Gravity always pulls
As wealth is languidly relished
And life gently lulls
Mere celebration
Becomes tragic in a blink
The illusion of safety
Can in one moment, sink.

Tongue tied
Like 13 year old boy
In front of a beautiful girl
Of 14
Feeling blushful untrustful
Not wanting to be seen
Until I'm up
On a podium
 my words
Written in secret
My cheat sheet
Uttered in public
Suddenly I'm the queen
Declaring truth
Unafraid
Confidence echoing within
Tiptoed, in the center
Of expectant ears
I rise above all my fears
Famous for a moment
In my own mind
Unafraid of failure
I don't stumble
This time.